Loyal Listener, Loyal Friend: How friends & music tie together- why I support indie music

By Star Beat

For the fan, once is not enough. You keep rooting for your favorite team and attend games. You keep buying your favorite band’s music and attend their concerts. You keep reading your favorite author’s books and attend their book readings. It’s this continuous, loyal bond that you form that might be mild or extreme. This “fandom” serves to mostly entertain us. But often times we can feel great empowerment, a sense of hope, and familiarity with what another person has created or their ability. This is a very powerful thing. If it stays with us for so long, then we’re hooked. We’re influenced. There’s no denying that. For me, I feel that I have this need to be loyal. This is mostly manifested through my personal life, where I am loyal to friends and family. When there is no family or friends, there’s music, always. Music is loyal to me, so I’m loyal to it.

Music is my best friend. So when I find a band that reflects my emotions and has a sound that captures me, I’m hooked. There aren’t many bands that’ll move me to purchase their music, buy merchandise, attend their concerts, promote them, or even want to tattoo something about them on myself. Being a freelance writer doesn’t allow me to really have several bands that I can invest that much money into, so I have a few that I truly support. But it’s not only a financial investment, it can be an emotional investment as well. A particular song can be the one that you go to when you need to feel better or one to remind you that life is too short to worry all the time. For those that promote the bands they love, it can be a way to improve one’s writing skills , gain communication skills, interact with others, and so fourth. It takes a lot of time to devote all this into music. But it’s all for the love of the art. It’s really a beautiful thing.

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I can’t help but want to go to every Screaming Females or Kevin Devine show. If I don’t, I feel bad. The band most likely won’t know, but I know and it’s not good enough if I miss a show. I feel like I have to apologize and explain myself. It’s like when I can’t go to one of my friend’s engagements. It bums me out. It really gets personal. And the thing is, I know I can get personal with these particular musicians. They’re not huge rockstars. I have access to them. I can’t imagine spending 100 dollars to see some huge rockstar in an arena. That just doesn’t do it for me. I’m more of a personal person. I need that close connection. That’s where it’s at. I need to feel the crowd pressed up on me, sweaty. That’s a show. But I do think there is a difference between a “show” and a “concert.” A show is thrown around in a very loose manner. It’s not as organized, well at least not in the same manner a “concert” might be organized. A show might be a basement show or a club show or a hall show. A concert is like Madison Square Garden or perhaps The Starland Ballroom. But I think bigger venues like PNC Bank Arts Center and Jones Beach count as concerts more than Starland. There is a substantial difference in cost, stage size, lighting, sound, and audience. There are different expectations and generally “shows” cater to rock, maybe even hip-hop shows. It’s very organic and there’s no need to be perfect. The bigger shows are mostly arena rock bands and pop music. They are organized very specifically, there's usually some sort of big light show or costume changes or something, more than just bands playing music. Concerts are not as raw as shows.

I’m more willing to support up-and-coming/local, unsigned bands than I am for bands that already have gained a decent support system, are established and signed to a record label. But I also support indie rock bands and those on smaller labels like Don Giovanni, Run For Cover, Quote Unquote. I like the idea of helping out local bands. I feel I am doing them a service. I love huge acts like Metallica, Alice in Chains, U2, Muse, Interpol, etc, but if I see them once, I'm satisfied. I've had amazing times seeing Muse and Interpol live, but not enough to have me coming back. It's different because of relationship.

Another way to look at this relationship and level of fandom is as a friend. I don't feel I'm "friends" with these bigger bands, so that's why I feel less inclined to see them more than once. Friend is used very loosely these days. One of my “friends” said that it needs a new word. "Friend" defined as the person you trust, can talk to, share interests with, hang out with, love, is too special to be lumped in with myspace friend or following friends, people you might barely know. With social networking, it’s as though anyone can be called a “friend.” But its definition has changed. But the point I’m trying to make is that, in some way, the same way you care for someone, it becomes similar with music. I stay closely connected with my favorite bands and artists. I want to know what they are up to, where they are touring. I want to read their interviews, buy their merchandise, etc. just like with a friend, who I’ll ask, “how are you?,” “Let’s hang out,” etc. shows can get canceled, just like plans with friend can get canceled. I also understand that's because of my curious and caring nature. For those bands I really love, I want to form a relationship with them, however small. It makes it that much better. It's hard to be everywhere, every time, but I try my best. Just be consistent, personally ask me to see your band or your performance, and be active about it. It’s cool to be able to promote and hang out at shows with Kristia of Exit She Calls, high five Marissa of Screaming Females every time I see her, chat with Angie (Cheeky, Little Lungs, Each Other's Mothers), interview my favorite bands, and e-mail some of my favorite musicians. It’s fun. It’s music. It’s a relationship. And this star is loyal as fuck when it comes to that. Star Beat Music, we dare to care.

Thoughts?